The instructions provided as comments were wrong. The input mode switch underneath the controller has to be in XInput mode (X) (left-most) position.
Sorry - my bad - on my F310 this switch is faulty, that's how the wrong instructions came to be. Wow Mark, such good instructions, straight up wrong, good job.
Thanks to MaddestMax on discord for being the first person ever to be like "hey, actually, this don't work"